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Well I’ve clearly been a good girl this year! Have you?
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What’s on your list to Santa? For a bit of Christmas fun this morning, wedding blog guest blogger Alison Staples shows us hers…
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Dear Santa,
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All I want for Christmas is the best wedding in the world. I won’t ask for anything else, ever again if you just sort out the following for me:
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Please let the sun shine – nice blue sky, gentle breeze and white fluffy clouds. Maybe a rainbow and a magnificent sunset? You don’t have to go mad. I don’t need a heat wave. A pink sweating bride with Kleenex in her arm pits isn’t the look I’m going for. Neither is wellies and a cagoule, and ‘damp’ will make my hair go frizzy. I don’t want to look like an Old English Sheepdog on my wedding photos.
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Please let my wedding dress fit. I know I ordered it two years ago in a size too small with the intention of slimming into it – is it too much to ask not to have back fat and bingo wings? All eyes will be on me. I have to look my most perfect self because I’ll be photographed from every angle. I’ve been doing pilates once a week and I’ve stopped eating Mars Bars, so I am making an effort. But a little extra help from Santa wouldn’t go amiss.
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Please let me find the perfect foundation undergarments. Do Rigby and Peller do magic knickers? I need something flesh coloured that will make me look like Jessica Rabbit and push all my flab up to my boobs. Oh yes – and that costs under a fiver.
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Please let the make-up artist discover my cheekbones. We’ve not seen them for a while but with an expert eye and some clever shading I think I might just be able to pull off Helena Christensen. Not gaunt, not Bonham Carter, but that sucked in face look – without actually having to suck my face in.
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Please don’t let me be orange. I don’t want to look pale so I’m planning on having a lime and ginger scrub and a ‘body glow’ the day before the wedding. I’m trying to achieve luminous. Umpa Lumpa would be very bad.
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Please don’t let my sister upstage me on the day. She is thinner and prettier than me – but I am the one getting married and she is the bridesmaid. Please don’t think ill of me, but we all saw Pippa Middleton in ‘that dress’. I’m not prepared to make the same mistake as Kate, so am currently scouring the internet for something in peach with lots of bows and frills. Note to self: must remember to avoid the Brazilian all you can eat meat BBQ before we go and try on the dresses.
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Please let people keep to time. It’s crucial that no one goes off piste so I’ve done a spreadsheet for everyone. A minute too long spent in hair and make-up and a red light on the way to the church could have catastrophic consequences by the time we get to the buffet.
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Is that it? I think that might be just about everything Santa. If you could arrange all that for me then I promise I’ll let you come down my chimney whenever you want.
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Oh – hang on, I’ve just thought of something else. It’s not so important but I might as well mention it anyway. Please let the groom turn up.
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Love Alison x
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Alison writes her own personal blog at http://alison-staples.blogspot.com.
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Alison’s latest posts for Brides Up North:
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Christmas Weddings In Soap Land – Some Very Un-Real Weddings!
Up For Discussion- Money Can’t Buy You Love – Bringing It In On Budget
Up For Discussion- Don’t Tell The Groom! Man Management
Up For Discussion- How To Do “I Do”- Writing Your Own Vows
Up For Discussion- Empty Chairs
Up For Discussion- Achieving The Perfect Level Of Wedding Morning Zen
Up For Discussion- The Name Game (and meet Alison!)
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Would you like to guest blog for Brides Up North? Email julia@bridesupnorth.co.uk
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Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog – Images © 2011 Classic Santa
This is not a sponsored post
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