Image by Maryanne Scott
Don’t worry we’re not discussing height, but age, in today’s Big Debate as we battle out the tricky question of whether or not to have
children at a wedding
?For some couples this might be cut and dry because either there aren’t any young children in their circles of family or friends that would require an invite, or the chosen venue doesn’t allow guests under a certain age.
For others however this contentious topic can cause rows, fall outs and sleepless nights. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, right? So why pile on more pressure? But then as with all other elements of the wedding, it’s the bride and groom’s big day and they should be able to have things just the way they want it, be that no rowdy children in the congregation.
So let’s get straight into it…
Image by Carly Bevan Photography
Image by Johnboy Wilson
rachel says: call the babysitter
I realise a lot of proud mums reading this are going to hate me, but I’m all for a child-free wedding. There I said it!
I find it a tough challenge for both the child and their parents when they’re required to sit still and silent for 30 minutes or more while the ceremony takes place. Let’s be honest, some adults can find this part of a wedding a drag, let alone an excitable child keen to explore their new surroundings, and look for new friends too.
So once they’re restrained from toddling off the obvious reaction is a tantrum, often interrupting the wedding and causing one parent to leave the room with rightly so unhappy child so things can continue without the unwanted background noise. This not only means the parent misses out on a precious moment of their loved one, but if the wedding couple have forked out for a videographer their vows may well be somewhat overshadowed by grumpy child’s screams and wails.
I know, I know, children look adorable at weddings, cute little flower girls and page boys, but the occasion is also a great time for adult friends and family to get together for a good old catch up whilst letting their hair down, without having to worry about the mini mes.
I can fully understand there may be the odd exception, such as very young babies whose mums wouldn’t feel comfortable parting from them at such an early stage. Also the bride and groom might have children themselves and wouldn’t want them excluding from the big day (though I have known couples in this situation to call in the babysitter so they can party hard).
As for the guests it’s a bit like the plus one issue – like it or lump it.
Photography by Laurie Bailey
julia says: bring a bottle
I used to be firmly of the opinion that weddings and kiddies didn’t mix. Then, something changed. And it’s not what you think.
Yes, I now have a little one of my own, but believe it or otherwise, it’s not the joy of motherhood that has me urging you to add a children’s table to your seating plan. To be honest, whilst (generally) I relish every moment that I spend with my daughter, I also don’t mind an adults only invitation once in a while. A chance to spend time *really* getting ready – I’m talking a full application of make-up and a DIY blow dry without overtures of Peppa Pig in the background; hold uninterrupted adult conversations; drink my body’s weight in Champagne without a worry in the world and – assuming we’ve shelled out on a hotel, which in this fantasty we have – a chance of an unbroken night’s sleep at the end of it all. Yes, an adults only invitation is very nice, thank you very much.
But, oops, I appear to have forgotten why I’m here… for of course you must have the tinies at your wedding. So what changed?
I became a wedding blogger.
Gals, I’ve seen more weddings than I’ve had unbroken nights’ sleep in the last two and a half years of motherhood, and let me tell you – all the best weddings have children in them! Just think of the cute factor.
These aren’t your children we are talking about either (and if they are, well, I’d definitely include them in your day, with strategically stationed grandparent officially “in charge”). But even if they’re not, bring them in! Appoint a plethora of small bridesmaids and pageboys, dress them in tulle and tweed, encourage them to gambol around the lawn and make your wedding look the loveliest ever. All the best weddings have tiny people in them, and if you can dress them as fairies or tiny groomsmen – only slightly cooler than the big boys – you’ll have a Pinterest ready set of photos, no effort required (other than from their parents).
You’re also likely to win brownie points up front from those parents too. Everyone thinks they want their children at a wedding… until they’re with their children at a wedding.
Joking aside (or, ahem, honesty aside), and cuteness considered, kids are also a lot of fun. They’ll make sure everyone’s dancing, liken you to a “Princess” and break any awkward silences around a wedding breakfast table. Weddings are for sharing with those we love. If those children are an important part of your everyday life, make them an important part of your wedding day. And did I mention the photo opportunities…?
Image by Pixies in the Cellar
what you said on facebook:
Janine: “I can’t imagine my wedding without my nieces and nephews – we’ll be inviting the whole family!”
Lynsey: “Our wedding is adults only. Not many of our friends have children yet, so it was an easy decision for us.”
Laura: “We’re only having close family’s children and small babies in arms.”
