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I woke up early to streaming sunlight this morning.
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It’s funny how light mornings, a drink outside the pub after work and an open window by your desk can cheer the spirits, isn’t it? This lifting of sprits has made me realise that I’ve been in a little funk lately.
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I’ve always been told that in life it’s important to “enjoy the journey” to your goals, but must admit that this is the one goal that I have put rather on the back burner of late.
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In a recent personal post, I recapped to crazy first three months of 2012, running Brides Up North and the brand’s related events, speaking engagements and styled shoots. I’ll not go over old ground, but boy has it been busy! A lot of people have commented that they “don’t know how I do it”, so I’ll be honest: I hate it when women in lifestyle magazines (and online) seemingly glide through life like a serene swan with perfect nails, hair and clothes, juggling their five perfect children under seven, two dogs, a demanding husband, high flying career and who still have time to write about it make out that it’s easy. It’s not.
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Memories of my own wedding planning process: lunch with the girls and dress fittings
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The past three months, and indeed the past year and a half since Brides Up North went live, have been the most stressful, terrifying, upheaving, nail biting, ageing and fraught of my life. I gave up a solid career to pursue my dreams, launched a full programme of wedding exhibitions in one year across three regions, have spoken to rooms packed with my peers and industry friends, whilst still finding time to write about it all. Oh, and maintain a successful marriage and healthy friendships.
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This swan is a demented duck.
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But then something happened. A chance meeting with an old colleague plus a few much needed days away with my husband allowed me time to reflect on how far Brides Up North has come over the past 18 months. I am so proud of this Northern Revolution and thrilled at the way my message has been supported. I am proud of myself for following my dreams when my friends and family thought I was crazy (I could see it in their eyes). I am proud that I can contribute equally to our household by doing something I love.
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Memories of my own wedding planning process: ring shopping and suit fittings
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And there it is: I love it. It might be stressful, terrifying, upheaving, nail biting, ageing and fraught, but hell, it’s fun. The process of running a blog and business is dynamic, exciting and I am constantly learning. Plus I get to write about weddings all day long, work with amazingly talented people and meet loved up couples on a very regular basis. I just need to check myself when it all feels too hard or the clock says 3am (and I’m still working for the third night running) and remember to enjoy it!
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There is a point to this personal post this morning (it’s not just a demented duck’s ramblings after all!) which is that the need to “remember to enjoy it” is never stronger than when you are actively engaged in planning your own wedding.
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Memories of my own wedding planning process: centrepiece making and bridal bootcamp
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I say “actively engaged” because no one realises how hard it can be, and how different the process from how you imagined it, until you are actually there: wedding magazine in one hand, budget in the other, wedding blog on the screen in front of you, a diary full of other people’s weddings (they all happen at once) and your mother and/or mother in law on the phone. Again.
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Memories of my own wedding planning process: the hubby home from his stag do (!) and music practice
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It can be tiring, confusing, stressful and even boring to plan a wedding, and sometimes when your bridesmaids can’t make any of the fittings, your gran wants to dictate the table plan and you wonder how you’ll ever afford it all, you wonder why you bother.
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Memories of my own wedding planning process: invitation writing, more bridal bootcamp & hair trials
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The clichéd answer here would be to say that you bother because you love the man that you are marrying and want to spend the rest of your life with him, which yes, is a factor (if its not, you need a serious word with yourself), but in truth, I think you bother because of a combination of things: love, because you are supposed to and because it’s your turn for a piece of the fantasy.
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If it’s your turn, it’s important to enjoy it, because you’ll regret it if you don’t! The most regular tip the brides who star in my Real Wedding features give is something along the lines of “take time to enjoy it, because it all goes so fast” or “it’s over before you know it, I wish I could do it all again”.
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When I look back on all these iPhone images of my own wedding planning process, I realise just how lucky I was and although at times I grumbled, argued and yes – was bored of it all – I wouldn’t change it for the World.
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Memories of my own wedding planning process: RSVP counting!
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So here’s some homework Brides Up North. This week, whenever the “wedding stress” sucks you down, shrug it off, remember your reasons to be cheerful and take some time to smell the roses. Do things your way, but try not to upset your mum or his mum, remember why you are doing this and most of all, have some fun!
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Let me know how it goes.
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You can see all the images from our wedding here, here, here and here.
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I’d love to hear your top tips for staying sane and enjoying the planning process. What have been your highs and lows so far? Leave me a comment below and get the discussion started.
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Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog – Images © 2012 Brides Up North, first and last images by David Lawson Studios
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